Either way, another piece of sage advice. In the end, no matter how good your email is, if they aren't into you, they just aren't into you. Something like "I find you interesting" makes her do the work to start the conversation--she has to figure out what it is that you might have in common.
Mail: 989 Market Street, 6th floor, San Francisco, CA 94103
Meet for drinks or coffee, depending. If his hobby is World of Warcraft, we're probably not a match. I immediately trashed any emails that looked like some guy was clicking through all the profiles in my zip code and spamming any girls that looked remotely attractive.
Don't stress over it. Ask her a question or two so she knows what to say in the reply. Either you want to meet at some point or you don't, right?
Relationships happen or they don't. Make it easy for her to respond by giving her something specific to respond to. Also, it's not a bad bit of habit to write a draft, get away from it for an hour or so and then come back and read it again.
Quoting movies can be an icebreaker, but not if it's Silence of the Lambs. Too short and you'll come across as lazy and generic. It works online and off.
For example, my now partner wrote this in his first response to my online profile. You say something about her profile- not about her looks.
When I was doing the online dating thing, I tended to immediately reject e-mails that were: Have you listened to the commentary? Messages that show you clearly haven't read their profile, or that are obviously being cut and pasted to dozens of women.